Sunday, February 10, 2008

Showtime!!!!!!....

Excuse me, sorry about stepping on your feet. Nice shoes. Sorry, meant it as a compliment. Quiet, it's showtime. Gum?

Alicia Keys, fresh from the Super Bowl, and Frank Sinatra learning the blues. I'm looking up at that peek-a-boo thing. Here's to the next 50 years! American Idol Carry Underwood singing, pissed at her man, gonna trash his truck....drums are too loud for the song. Hope she doesn't key the wrong truck!

"Frank Sinatra looked good for 150, didn't he?" Prince, what a kidder! Lookin' red, presenting to winner Alicia Keys in her peek-a-boo thing. Shout out to God (does He watch these awards shows, 'cause it could give Him a big head).

The Time....and Rhianna....80's funk.....forgettable. Tom Hanks tells us about The Band....Lifetime Something recipients. And the Beatles. Never was a fan of Let It Be, but like the gospel take.

Amy wins #1 as Cindi Lauper accepts excitedly. Some guy outside wants us to vote by phone. Screw him. Damn, excuse me, got to go to the bathroom. Sorry, didn't mean to step on those great shoes again. I promise not to on the way back. Back. Oops, sorry. Kanye West is doing a Devo thing. He's up against Amy Winehouse in a few categories tonight. Will he tell us off if he loses? Doing the song about his Mama....pretty touching.

Fergie, forgot your Peas? Duet with John Legend. Finally.....over! Cher introducing Beyonce who shows off for a bit then brings out Tina Turner, who looks a little weird. No Ike Turner tribute? Well, maybe just a little one, with Beyonce doing Ike's part on Proud Mary.

Yikes, Andy Williams is still alive? Not sure, but he's up on stage right now. Amy wins #2! They send us back outside? Oh, we can just sit in here and watch the Foo Fighters sing outside with an orchestra....or something stupid like that. What? Maybe now's the time to sneak out to the lobby for a beer. Damn, not again!...Sorry, but you have big feet. Just kidding, your feet are fine, I'm just clumsy. Here, step on mine, then we're even. Jesus, lots of commercials!

Waiting for Feist or Amy Winehouse to perform, but get Brad Paisley instead singing I'd Like to Check Your Tics. Pretty awful.

Kanye West wins best rap album and tells the jerks who play that sendoff music to kiss off. Good for him. Now some gospel from Aretha and Bebe Winans, Clarks Sisters. A WHOLE LOTTA GOSPEL. Pretty cool. We always make sure to check out the Gospel Tent at JazzFest each year. Jeez, it's almost 10 o'clock. I mean, 7, 'cause we're, of course, out on the left coast.

1,2,3,4....Feist!....scaled down version, should have kept the gospel peeps around for the song.....Kid Rock and Keeley Smith sing Old Black Magic....then give some award to the Foo Fighters, who were apparently let inside to accept.

Boy, they are riding the Amy performance hard before each break. G hopes she's not "pre-gaming."

Alicia Keys is introduced by Stevie Wonder for her current hit.....out comes CT's John Mayer to accompany her on guitar at the end! Country album goes to Vince Gill's These Days, a wonderful four-album set that features some stuff by CT's Al Anderson of NRBQ/Wildweeds fame. Another break!

Joe Montana? Oh, not. Another Joe. Herbie Hancock and Someone Asian dueling pianos on Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue (what WAS that airline, anyway?). Hey, the White Stripes are here! Oh, fooled again. It's just a Crest Whitestrips commercial. Getting real tired, let's wrap this baby up. I've got to catch the red-eye back to CT in a couple hours.

Amy, live from London, where it must be like Tuesday by now. Waiting for the trainwreck, but she does funky versions of I'm No Good and Rehab. Throws out several references to her Blake in the songs. Then wins #3 for Song of the Year for Rehab. She thanks Mom, Dad and her incarcerated hubby, Blake.

Wait, I said QUIET, asshole! The Academy Prez is speaking! Wow, he's FANTASTIC, especially at 11 o'clock!

Now it's time for dead men scrolling. Ike Turner and Pavarotti. Josh Groban and Andrea Bocelli sing to honor the Big Guy.

John Fogerty, Little Richard and Jerry Lee Lewis! Fogerty does the lead in to Jerry Lee's Great Balls of Fire (Killer's balls aren't quite as firey as they once were, but cool to hear) and Little Richard's surprisingly energetic Good Golly, Miss Molly. Brings a little life to this place. Is it over yet?

Will.i.am (periods???) doing some kind of rap listing of old songs. Okay, I admit that I don't get it. Final award- Album of the Year. WHAT? Herbie Hancock for "River: The Joni Letters," a jazz album (with dreaded duets) of Joni Mitchell songs. Big surprise, but Kanye doesn't go postal on us.

Okay, gotta run. Damn, sorry. Actually, you do have kinda big feet. See you next year. Out.

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